all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
