I wish I could punch you in the face.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
