I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
