this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
