i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
