real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
