All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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