i'm lost and i look like a hooker
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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