I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
