singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
