Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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