I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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