Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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