Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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