What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
