im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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