Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
