I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
