I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
