yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
