Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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