im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
