Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
