I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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