I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
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You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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