Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
