Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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