Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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