Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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