Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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