y did u give ur computer a hand job?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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