i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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