that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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