Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
