The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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