The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think people are normalizing furries
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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