i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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