hotel room ftw
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize