Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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