I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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