Non-Jews are for practice
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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