im having a threesome with these popsicles
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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