Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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