You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
