At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
