I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think my vagina is haunted
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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