Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize