Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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