need another drink. this is the easiest way
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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