This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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