Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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