it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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