paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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