I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
