i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
