i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I could fuck to npr.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
