ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just pee around me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
