no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
