New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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